This video is abit about what I've been thinking about. Thanks Mre, for posting your video on your blog. Maybe this will answer some of my questions.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Questions
My life has been full of adventure since September and my last post. So much so that my posts on my blog have been more than lacking, they have been non-existent. I wont bore you with a detailed update of my life: going to school, having a boyfriend, teaching art classes, cleaning houses, and yes, joining Facebook (I hang my head in shame), but instead I am going to solicit your opinion and your input into the questions within my head.
Community: I don't know about you, but this word has been bombarding me since September. I can not get away from it and wherever I go, I hear about it. It's not as though I want it to stop following me. It has just brought me a place of contemplation of what really does it mean. When I hear the word community, what do I think of? What do you think of? One step further: how do I live in community? Is it necessary for life? Am I suppose to live in community? What does that look like?
The discussions surrounding the word community are nothing out of the ordinary in my family, but actually quite the opposite. They happen frequently. Being apart of Christian circles for all of my life, the word community is not shied away from either. On top of that as a Mennonite, community is one of the first words in the dictionary. But, what does that all mean for me, Suzanne Klassen. How do I live in community?
In the summer I was talking to a friend about religion and what "my religion's" beliefs were. I found myself using the word community and family and unity quite often. For him and his adventures in religion he wanted the complete opposite; individualism, me- myself and I, no accountability to anyone else and I get myself where I want to go. I have found that this way of thinking is not unfamiliar to the university crowd and yet for me, I am constantly striving to build community. What is it about community that I find so attractive and yet Ian finds so appalling? In what ways do I live my life so that community is something that is longed for instead of shunned? What does community have to offer that individualism does not? Is there an ideal way to live out community? Who is to know and who is to tell?
Community: I don't know about you, but this word has been bombarding me since September. I can not get away from it and wherever I go, I hear about it. It's not as though I want it to stop following me. It has just brought me a place of contemplation of what really does it mean. When I hear the word community, what do I think of? What do you think of? One step further: how do I live in community? Is it necessary for life? Am I suppose to live in community? What does that look like?
The discussions surrounding the word community are nothing out of the ordinary in my family, but actually quite the opposite. They happen frequently. Being apart of Christian circles for all of my life, the word community is not shied away from either. On top of that as a Mennonite, community is one of the first words in the dictionary. But, what does that all mean for me, Suzanne Klassen. How do I live in community?
In the summer I was talking to a friend about religion and what "my religion's" beliefs were. I found myself using the word community and family and unity quite often. For him and his adventures in religion he wanted the complete opposite; individualism, me- myself and I, no accountability to anyone else and I get myself where I want to go. I have found that this way of thinking is not unfamiliar to the university crowd and yet for me, I am constantly striving to build community. What is it about community that I find so attractive and yet Ian finds so appalling? In what ways do I live my life so that community is something that is longed for instead of shunned? What does community have to offer that individualism does not? Is there an ideal way to live out community? Who is to know and who is to tell?
Thursday, September 27, 2007
The Unusual Applaud
The lights are dim, and the film begins to roll. The sound starts to play and I sit there in anticipation of what is about to be displayed before my eyes. A documentary: Man with the Movie Camera, 1929. I wait and low and behold, an orchestra soon begins to take position on stage. I love music. The film reels through from slide to slide, and I take in the action, but more importantly, my ears are saturated in the sweet sounds and melodies that ring in the air. I am elated at the quality and a smile is pasted on my face. The film continues from scene to scene and with each passing moment the same thought keeps flickering through my head. "Where in the world can I get my hands on this sound track?! This is amazing!!" Ninety minutes later
the finale comes to a close and there I am left in awe and wonder with my heart feeling warm, my eyes closed focusing on the auditory intake, and my hands naturally begin to clap and applaud the greatness of the performance that I have just witnessed. Startled back to reality, I find that I am not the only one clapping my hands together, but the class which I had lost consciousness of, has joined me in my appreciation. How marvelous! They appreciate this film (or this sound track) as much as I do! I exit the room in satisfaction and much to my chagrin the ears which were so beautifully treated by harmonies are rudely harassed with words of discontent. "What a waste of time. That sucked!?" In confusion and disbelief I become aware that what I perceived as greatness, another perceived as garbage; what I thought was appreciation, was merely mockery.
A week passes and I am reminded of the whole experience again. "Can you explain to me the unusual applaud at the end of "Man with the Movie Camera?" Yes I can sir. But my explanation only captures the one set of hands that started it all.
the finale comes to a close and there I am left in awe and wonder with my heart feeling warm, my eyes closed focusing on the auditory intake, and my hands naturally begin to clap and applaud the greatness of the performance that I have just witnessed. Startled back to reality, I find that I am not the only one clapping my hands together, but the class which I had lost consciousness of, has joined me in my appreciation. How marvelous! They appreciate this film (or this sound track) as much as I do! I exit the room in satisfaction and much to my chagrin the ears which were so beautifully treated by harmonies are rudely harassed with words of discontent. "What a waste of time. That sucked!?" In confusion and disbelief I become aware that what I perceived as greatness, another perceived as garbage; what I thought was appreciation, was merely mockery.
A week passes and I am reminded of the whole experience again. "Can you explain to me the unusual applaud at the end of "Man with the Movie Camera?" Yes I can sir. But my explanation only captures the one set of hands that started it all.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
If This Tree Could Speak
The other weekend, Brent and I went for a walk and heard this loud, furious, angry sounding screaming. It was quite the noise and it sounded very destructive, violent and disturbing. As we kept walking, the screaming came closer and we ended up walking right passed the bushes where the racket was coming from. This sick and distressing feeling came over me and all I wanted to do was go and talk to the guy and see what was wrong and why he was so upset. Brent had a head on his shoulders and stopped me from entering into the bush without thinking, and as we walked on by I prayed as release of what I was feeling. It was really sad to think about how this guy had so much anger and furry in him and yet had to go into the bush, all by himself to get it off his chest.
We went back later to where he had been, to find a tree fort of sorts, right on the edge of the water. It was cradled by this huge tree that had these big sprawling branches that hugged the lonely soul that sat in it's arms. The main platform of the fort had a ton of carvings and markings on it that could write novels of what had happened in that place.
Oh the stories this tree could tell if it only could speak. The secrets that were told and the memories that are erased. The words that were uttered and the curses that were thrown. The blessings that were embraced and the toxins that were inhaled. This tree holds it all. It is a place of security and a listening ear that will not object. It is a place of safety and a strong arm that will not beat back. It is a place of comfort and a warm heart that will not be hurt. If this tree could speak, oh the stories it would tell.
We went back later to where he had been, to find a tree fort of sorts, right on the edge of the water. It was cradled by this huge tree that had these big sprawling branches that hugged the lonely soul that sat in it's arms. The main platform of the fort had a ton of carvings and markings on it that could write novels of what had happened in that place.Oh the stories this tree could tell if it only could speak. The secrets that were told and the memories that are erased. The words that were uttered and the curses that were thrown. The blessings that were embraced and the toxins that were inhaled. This tree holds it all. It is a place of security and a listening ear that will not object. It is a place of safety and a strong arm that will not beat back. It is a place of comfort and a warm heart that will not be hurt. If this tree could speak, oh the stories it would tell.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Missing Out or Saving Myself
Within the society that I live, there are many different forms of communication and ways of interaction. The handwritten letter is one that everyone really loves and when you open the mail to find a personally addressed envelope, you are thrilled. But it pretty much stays at a novelty and many people don't take the time to actually use this method. The telephone has been around for quite some time, but as the years progress, I find that it is used less frequently. Email, can be argued as being the most common and the standard form of communication across generations. Online chatting has become quite popular as well but is not used by all. It kinda stays between the younger folks, and as you get older, using Messenger, Google Talk and the like is not as common. Skype is another more recent form of communication where you are able to talk, as though on the telephone, but through your computer. This is a nifty way of communication that is cheap and relatively painless. Text messaging is predominant and though everyone and their dog has a cell phone, they are not used for actual talking as much as "texting" your "fav. five". And then there is this: "a social utility that connects you with the people around you." Any guesses for what this can be? Facebook!
Facebook is a way of networking and communicating with people from your past, your present and I wouldn't doubt, your future. This phenomenon started in 2004 and was originally only available to college/university students with a campus email address. Since September 2006, this utility was opened up to be used by anyone with an email address and by July 2007, it had 34 million active members and was the seventh most visited site in the United States.* Though it started with the university crowd, this network has spread throughout high schools, families, parents and work places.
Many friends of mine are proud members of this network and beckon me to join in with this social gathering. They tell me all the great advantages of "having Facebook" and are constantly making me feel as though I'm missing out because I'm not connected. For some, Facebook has become their principal way of communication and they rely on it fully to get messages to each other, plan events, to stay up to date on the latest greatest, know the person's dating status, to find new friends, to stay connected with childhood playmates and to watch and observe the lives of others through videos, pictures and stories. Discussions are had, comments are made, and the world is aware of every move that you make. You are comfortably distant, yet jarringly vulnerable.
My opinions for Facebook are strictly observational considering I have not become a member, and the debate of whether or not I should, is continually being presented to me. I question what this social utility says about the society that I live in. How has our culture come to a place where virtual connectivity is the norm and if you don't take part, you are on the outside, the outskirts, an outliers? How as it happen that suddenly we are willing to expose our every move to the world, let them know who our top friends are, and rekindle friendships that never existed? As one that hasn't taken the plunge and entered this virtual world, am I truly missing out like my friends say, or am I saving myself from a reliance on a computer to connect me to the "people around me"? Has our society come to a place where physical interaction is no longer needed, and we are able to be sustained and fulfilled within our cyber-world? How long can I stay on the outside and still remain on the inside of society? Will I have to cave to fully know how my society works, or can I just observe and look objectively from the outskirts? Am I missing out, or am I saving myself?
*figures taken from Wikipedia
Facebook is a way of networking and communicating with people from your past, your present and I wouldn't doubt, your future. This phenomenon started in 2004 and was originally only available to college/university students with a campus email address. Since September 2006, this utility was opened up to be used by anyone with an email address and by July 2007, it had 34 million active members and was the seventh most visited site in the United States.* Though it started with the university crowd, this network has spread throughout high schools, families, parents and work places.
Many friends of mine are proud members of this network and beckon me to join in with this social gathering. They tell me all the great advantages of "having Facebook" and are constantly making me feel as though I'm missing out because I'm not connected. For some, Facebook has become their principal way of communication and they rely on it fully to get messages to each other, plan events, to stay up to date on the latest greatest, know the person's dating status, to find new friends, to stay connected with childhood playmates and to watch and observe the lives of others through videos, pictures and stories. Discussions are had, comments are made, and the world is aware of every move that you make. You are comfortably distant, yet jarringly vulnerable.
My opinions for Facebook are strictly observational considering I have not become a member, and the debate of whether or not I should, is continually being presented to me. I question what this social utility says about the society that I live in. How has our culture come to a place where virtual connectivity is the norm and if you don't take part, you are on the outside, the outskirts, an outliers? How as it happen that suddenly we are willing to expose our every move to the world, let them know who our top friends are, and rekindle friendships that never existed? As one that hasn't taken the plunge and entered this virtual world, am I truly missing out like my friends say, or am I saving myself from a reliance on a computer to connect me to the "people around me"? Has our society come to a place where physical interaction is no longer needed, and we are able to be sustained and fulfilled within our cyber-world? How long can I stay on the outside and still remain on the inside of society? Will I have to cave to fully know how my society works, or can I just observe and look objectively from the outskirts? Am I missing out, or am I saving myself?
*figures taken from Wikipedia
Monday, July 16, 2007
One of the Best!
So this may be one of the best summers ever. When I tell people this, they always seem puzzled and ask why, and a valid question indeed. They continue their inquiry asking what I have done and what makes it so great and if you were to look at my summer, from the outside it doesn't look like much. I've been to Toronto a few times to hear some sweet music, but that isn't anything that out of the ordinary. I've been camping with my family, which was super awesome, but again, I do that every year (though, this year, we had an extra great time because we found out that MARIA IS PREGNANT!!!!). Then if you were to look at my job, you would be totally thrown off. My job for those who forget, is working for a agency called Agricorp which under the government, trying to control a virus (Plum Pox) which is spreading through the orchards in Niagara. I am sampler which means that all I do is pick leaves and tag/label trees. That is literally all I do. I pick between 4000 to 5000 leaves a day and put them in little ziplock bags and that's all I do for 7.5 hours a day. Literally that's all I do. So again, this shouldn't really add to the amazingness of my summer. But for some reason, all of these things have added up and contributed to the best summer ever! My job is fantastic and I love it! My family is unreal, and I love them! My music is rockin' and I love it!
But, when I actually take time and think about it, there is one more thing. There is something sweet about having purpose, and I think for me this has made my summer. As you will recall from my previous post, God really made it clear to me that there was reason for me to get this job. There was huge ordeal around getting it, and when I eventually did, I felt strongly that God had put me there for a reason. Well, since then, I have been on a search to find out what my purpose in this work place is and have tried to figure out why I am there. It has been a challenge because I don't really connect with the people at work, I work alone for the majority of the day, and there aren't many great "opportunities" in the normal sense. So why am I there? Without going into huge detail, God has shown me the value of the new culture that I am apart of; the value in the differences between us; and the value in unfamiliarity in new situations. This has given me purpose and has motivated me in life. It has given me a freshness and a joy to do what I do, and an expectancy that God is going to do something. My dearest brother-in-law Nathan posted on his blog about the boredom of work and whether or not work is just work, of if it can be something more (sorry Nato, paraphrasing a bit) and I think that it can be something more. If there was a job that could be boring and unmotivating, I have one, but when you introduce purpose, it is a whole new story. Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I have purpose doesn't mean that I am thrilled with every leaf that I pick and that I am overjoyed with every sex talk I get, but at the end of the day I know that there is a reason why I am going back the next day. It adds something to life and for me that is greatness!
So, yes, my summer has been amazing, and maybe not for then normal reasons a summer is awesome, but to put it bluntly, it's because of God
But, when I actually take time and think about it, there is one more thing. There is something sweet about having purpose, and I think for me this has made my summer. As you will recall from my previous post, God really made it clear to me that there was reason for me to get this job. There was huge ordeal around getting it, and when I eventually did, I felt strongly that God had put me there for a reason. Well, since then, I have been on a search to find out what my purpose in this work place is and have tried to figure out why I am there. It has been a challenge because I don't really connect with the people at work, I work alone for the majority of the day, and there aren't many great "opportunities" in the normal sense. So why am I there? Without going into huge detail, God has shown me the value of the new culture that I am apart of; the value in the differences between us; and the value in unfamiliarity in new situations. This has given me purpose and has motivated me in life. It has given me a freshness and a joy to do what I do, and an expectancy that God is going to do something. My dearest brother-in-law Nathan posted on his blog about the boredom of work and whether or not work is just work, of if it can be something more (sorry Nato, paraphrasing a bit) and I think that it can be something more. If there was a job that could be boring and unmotivating, I have one, but when you introduce purpose, it is a whole new story. Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I have purpose doesn't mean that I am thrilled with every leaf that I pick and that I am overjoyed with every sex talk I get, but at the end of the day I know that there is a reason why I am going back the next day. It adds something to life and for me that is greatness!
So, yes, my summer has been amazing, and maybe not for then normal reasons a summer is awesome, but to put it bluntly, it's because of God
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Nothing Really
You know the people who never update their blog. You're a faithful reader, and you check it regularly for updates, but then for months and months, nothing ever changes. I know a few of them, and to be honest I have been guilty of the same. And so, I am trying to prevent you from stopping to check my blog, because one day I'll have another adventure, and if you haven't been able to see any action, you may forget about it and miss an adventure.
For me I find it exciting to read the new updates on others blogs and hear about what people are doing with their lives, even if it doesn't apply to me, doesn't matter to me, or doesn't makes sense to me. Blogging is a way of communication for the modern day, and it is a way of expression. Some people use it as a journal of their adventures, some use it to provoke thought, some use it just to say what is on their mind, and other just want something to take up their time. There are many different reasons to blog, and I feel as though mine is a combination of all. There isn't really any rhyme or reason to it, it just happens as it happens. For instance, this entry is completely useless and probably by the end of it, you will think to yourself, "why did I just waste my time reading this." But you can just remember that this is a way of communication for the modern day. I consider myself a modern women, and as one who is studying society I find it important to take part in the society and the ways of my modern day. Enjoy today.
For me I find it exciting to read the new updates on others blogs and hear about what people are doing with their lives, even if it doesn't apply to me, doesn't matter to me, or doesn't makes sense to me. Blogging is a way of communication for the modern day, and it is a way of expression. Some people use it as a journal of their adventures, some use it to provoke thought, some use it just to say what is on their mind, and other just want something to take up their time. There are many different reasons to blog, and I feel as though mine is a combination of all. There isn't really any rhyme or reason to it, it just happens as it happens. For instance, this entry is completely useless and probably by the end of it, you will think to yourself, "why did I just waste my time reading this." But you can just remember that this is a way of communication for the modern day. I consider myself a modern women, and as one who is studying society I find it important to take part in the society and the ways of my modern day. Enjoy today.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Emotional Day for Some reason
So today, for some reason, in the middle of the day I just burst into tears. I could pull out explanations, but really they don't do justice. I'm not even PMSing. I was just emotional today. It started this morning when I was mowing the lawn. I had just started and all of the sudden I got this ferocious pain in my arm and I look down and a bee flies away! The nerve!!! This is my first bee sting I think and it hurt like crazy! So that sucked! Well I continued to mow the lawn and as I got to the street I spotted a little creature on the road. It was in the middle of the road, and I don't know what got into me because I'm not one to really go and inspect road kill, but something urged me. I went over and low and behold there was this baby bird panting and obviously was very hurt; had been there for a few days and was in alot of pain. The second I walked over it turned its little head to me and opened his yellow beak so wide as if I was going to feed it. It was just painful to watch. I had to do something, and the only thing that I could do was put it out of its missery. Let's just say that my neighbour yelled out, "I live beside killers!!" It was so incredibly devistating and just heart wrenching!
Well, that wasn't the end of my missery. I then went to donate blood and as usual I filled out all the papers, answered all the sex questions and went and sat on the comfy chairs. I had just gotten stung on my right arm, so I thought it may not be the best idea to draw blood from that arm. So the nurse searched my left arm for the vein, and she said that it was too small. So she looked around the right arm for a vein. "Oh, this one is a bit better. Let's try this one." She stuck in the needle and I looked down and there was no blood coming out at all. That was very strange since usually I just pour out. But this time there was nothing. She called over the other nurse, and she started to poke around and together they dug under my skin to find a gushing vein. They finaly found one, but gushing would be the complete opposite discription. It dripped out of the needle enough to just fill their four test tubes. They decided they would try the left arm to fill the bag and they found a vein but again not much blood. So they gave up, and sent me home crying. I just couldn't stop crying though for some reason. I was sitting in the chair waiting for them to clean my iodine arms and the tears just kept streaming. I was trying to stop, but just couldn't. It was an emotional morning, but really not that bad. It was so dramatic and my emotions just got the best of me.
Well, that wasn't the end of my missery. I then went to donate blood and as usual I filled out all the papers, answered all the sex questions and went and sat on the comfy chairs. I had just gotten stung on my right arm, so I thought it may not be the best idea to draw blood from that arm. So the nurse searched my left arm for the vein, and she said that it was too small. So she looked around the right arm for a vein. "Oh, this one is a bit better. Let's try this one." She stuck in the needle and I looked down and there was no blood coming out at all. That was very strange since usually I just pour out. But this time there was nothing. She called over the other nurse, and she started to poke around and together they dug under my skin to find a gushing vein. They finaly found one, but gushing would be the complete opposite discription. It dripped out of the needle enough to just fill their four test tubes. They decided they would try the left arm to fill the bag and they found a vein but again not much blood. So they gave up, and sent me home crying. I just couldn't stop crying though for some reason. I was sitting in the chair waiting for them to clean my iodine arms and the tears just kept streaming. I was trying to stop, but just couldn't. It was an emotional morning, but really not that bad. It was so dramatic and my emotions just got the best of me.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Faith
So, as a lot of you know, this past couple of months has been an adventure on the job hunt. It is crazy how hard it is to find a job now a days, and especially one that is willing to pay you a decent wage. Jobs don't come easy. In March, my number one goal was to make money! It seems like a common goal among students, and I was no different. Without boring you with the details, there was one job in particular that seems quite appealing and just the perfect fit. I had applied last year for this job, but to no prevail. When considering applying again, I didn't think I stood a chance. Why would they hire me this year if they didn't hire me last year. God right away asked me His favourite question to ask me, "Do you have faith?" I hate that question because it puts you in such an awkward situation, because you know that it is a challenge more than a question. My answer was no; I did not have faith that I could get this job. Thus the begining of a great adventure!Faith.
I decided to apply for the job, but with much timidity yet wanting to take God up on His challenge. He could get this job. Once I had applied, whenever I would think about the job, I was reminded of the question and it got me thinking about what faith really was. What does it mean to live by faith? That seems like such a Sunday school answer, and something that is so easily thrown around in the Christian community. But God started to ask me if it was more than just a blank statement, and He challenged me to really think about what that means. Throughout the past two months, I have learend more and more that living by faith is not about the end result, but it about the journey to get there, the adventure behind it. Living by faith doesn't mean that you go out and like the lottery, hope that you'll win, or you will get what you want. Living by faith is learning to trust God with every part of your life; the big, the small, the pretty and the ugly. Living by faith is a journey of dependency where your only option is to trust God and to find peace in knowing that He will get you to the best destination imaginable; no matter what happens, the journey towards it was worth it.
The job took me for a ride, leaving me week after week, wondering what was happening. I was starting to really wonder when this journey was going to end and starting to consider new options for my final destination, but again, the question haunted me, "Do you have faith?" God started to show me that He had it under control and that no matter what, whether I got the job or not, this adventure of faith didn't end with this result. It was only the begining of a great adventure, and even though, yes, I ended up getting the job (PRAISE THE LORD!!!), the journey still continues, and from what I can tell, I have a long ways to go before I see the end.
I decided to apply for the job, but with much timidity yet wanting to take God up on His challenge. He could get this job. Once I had applied, whenever I would think about the job, I was reminded of the question and it got me thinking about what faith really was. What does it mean to live by faith? That seems like such a Sunday school answer, and something that is so easily thrown around in the Christian community. But God started to ask me if it was more than just a blank statement, and He challenged me to really think about what that means. Throughout the past two months, I have learend more and more that living by faith is not about the end result, but it about the journey to get there, the adventure behind it. Living by faith doesn't mean that you go out and like the lottery, hope that you'll win, or you will get what you want. Living by faith is learning to trust God with every part of your life; the big, the small, the pretty and the ugly. Living by faith is a journey of dependency where your only option is to trust God and to find peace in knowing that He will get you to the best destination imaginable; no matter what happens, the journey towards it was worth it.
The job took me for a ride, leaving me week after week, wondering what was happening. I was starting to really wonder when this journey was going to end and starting to consider new options for my final destination, but again, the question haunted me, "Do you have faith?" God started to show me that He had it under control and that no matter what, whether I got the job or not, this adventure of faith didn't end with this result. It was only the begining of a great adventure, and even though, yes, I ended up getting the job (PRAISE THE LORD!!!), the journey still continues, and from what I can tell, I have a long ways to go before I see the end.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
The Painting
Just thought I would share this
some have asked, who this is, and it is just a picture that I saw and so I decided to paint it. Oh, and it is not in black and white, but the camera did not capture the full colour unfortunately. It is really colourful in real life.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
My Korean Sister
Have you ever thought that there may be universal faces that everyone, no matter what nationality, where they are from, which world they grow up in, reconginze? I am officially done first year university (HALLELIUAH!!!!) and one thing that I will remember from first year Psych, is that there are universal emotions. What they all are, I don't remember, but they do exsists. In February, we had two Korean girls living with us for seven weeks. It was great and I do miss them and I just stumbled apon these pictures. We were just having some fun with the camera, and now looking back, this proves the point. There are universal emotions. If you havn't played this game with your friends, or your international friends, it is quite the fun. You just yell out an emotion and without thinking about it for very long, you take the picture. These were our results. Universal emotions? I think so.
HAPPY:)
HAPPY:)
SAD :(
ANGRY!
AFRAID!!
SUPRISED :O
Do what she says--Not Impressed -----WHOA!!!Thursday, March 01, 2007
Broken Vision
So, a few weekends ago I was at a BCF retreat. It was fabulously awesome and a ton of fun. While I was there, God did some pretty cool things, one of which was touching me powerfully and manifesting huge in my physical body. It was pretty crazy and it happened so unexpectedly. My darling friend Ruth was praying for me in the kitchen of the place we were staying, and all of the sudden I start to shake like a leaf and couldn't stop shaking! God totally took over me and for about an hour I was totally filled with the Holy Spirit. He gave me visions, prophesies and just took a hold of me, mind, body and spirit. This used to be a regular occurrence in my life, but for the past six or so years I hadn't experienced anything like this and unconsciously I was starting to doubt if He still moved in that way. A lens of doubt, shall we say, came over my eyes and heart and I started to doubt my experiences in the past and if they were actually legitimate. But that night it was as though I was catapulted into my past and God met me in the same way as He did back then. It was so refreshing and God showed me how He still can move in me like He did back then and He is still alive and well. He showed me that with Him I can be satisfied and that He is the one that I need to turn to for life, energy and joy! It was marvellous and really humbling.
At the end of it all, I went to get my glasses that I had taken off prior to the experience and when I went to pick them up, low and behold they were snapped in half! I don't know exactly how this happened but with all the movin' and shakin' I'm not surprised. It is a symbol of what God did for me that night. He took my lens of doubt that had been covering my eyes and broke them in half. I walked around blind for the next week but God showed Himself to me in a way that needed no glasses, but just a vision of
Him.
At the end of it all, I went to get my glasses that I had taken off prior to the experience and when I went to pick them up, low and behold they were snapped in half! I don't know exactly how this happened but with all the movin' and shakin' I'm not surprised. It is a symbol of what God did for me that night. He took my lens of doubt that had been covering my eyes and broke them in half. I walked around blind for the next week but God showed Himself to me in a way that needed no glasses, but just a vision of
Him.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
The Chapter is Closed and the Book is Finished!
As you probably are aware, I am not a reader. I have never been a reader, and if I start to become a reader, it will be a miracle. BUT, I have read a book or two in my life and do know the relief of finishing it (maybe an emotion that some of you avid readers can't relate to). I also know the feeling of reading an aweful book, one that seems to drag on and on and never come to an end. When you are finally finished it, you are more than happy to slam the book closed, never open it agian, and maybe even give it away. For me this is abit of a picture of the past four to five months. They have been the hardest months of my life and I have been in a state of constant sadness, depression, confusion and just overwhelming emotions that were usually not enjoyable or comfortable. This may have not been visible to everyone, (don't judge a book by its cover) but I was dealing with the realities of singleness, giving up dreams and hopes for the future, trying to figure out how to continue on a journey I didn't want to be on and learning more about who I was, and where my identity lied. It was a difficult labyrinth to maze through, and I was sure that it would take me years to reach the end. BUT, thank God, He wrote the plot.
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