Gross'me'Green

If This Tree Could Speak

The other weekend, Brent and I went for a walk and heard this loud, furious, angry sounding screaming. It was quite the noise and it sounded very destructive, violent and disturbing. As we kept walking, the screaming came closer and we ended up walking right passed the bushes where the racket was coming from. This sick and distressing feeling came over me and all I wanted to do was go and talk to the guy and see what was wrong and why he was so upset. Brent had a head on his shoulders and stopped me from entering into the bush without thinking, and as we walked on by I prayed as release of what I was feeling. It was really sad to think about how this guy had so much anger and furry in him and yet had to go into the bush, all by himself to get it off his chest.
We went back later to where he had been, to find a tree fort of sorts, right on the edge of the water. It was cradled by this huge tree that had these big sprawling branches that hugged the lonely soul that sat in it's arms. The main platform of the fort had a ton of carvings and markings on it that could write novels of what had happened in that place.
Oh the stories this tree could tell if it only could speak. The secrets that were told and the memories that are erased. The words that were uttered and the curses that were thrown. The blessings that were embraced and the toxins that were inhaled. This tree holds it all. It is a place of security and a listening ear that will not object. It is a place of safety and a strong arm that will not beat back. It is a place of comfort and a warm heart that will not be hurt. If this tree could speak, oh the stories it would tell.

Missing Out or Saving Myself

Within the society that I live, there are many different forms of communication and ways of interaction. The handwritten letter is one that everyone really loves and when you open the mail to find a personally addressed envelope, you are thrilled. But it pretty much stays at a novelty and many people don't take the time to actually use this method. The telephone has been around for quite some time, but as the years progress, I find that it is used less frequently. Email, can be argued as being the most common and the standard form of communication across generations. Online chatting has become quite popular as well but is not used by all. It kinda stays between the younger folks, and as you get older, using Messenger, Google Talk and the like is not as common. Skype is another more recent form of communication where you are able to talk, as though on the telephone, but through your computer. This is a nifty way of communication that is cheap and relatively painless. Text messaging is predominant and though everyone and their dog has a cell phone, they are not used for actual talking as much as "texting" your "fav. five". And then there is this: "a social utility that connects you with the people around you." Any guesses for what this can be? Facebook!
Facebook is a way of networking and communicating with people from your past, your present and I wouldn't doubt, your future. This phenomenon started in 2004 and was originally only available to college/university students with a campus email address. Since September 2006, this utility was opened up to be used by anyone with an email address and by July 2007, it had 34 million active members and was the seventh most visited site in the United States.* Though it started with the university crowd, this network has spread throughout high schools, families, parents and work places.
Many friends of mine are proud members of this network and beckon me to join in with this social gathering. They tell me all the great advantages of "having Facebook" and are constantly making me feel as though I'm missing out because I'm not connected. For some, Facebook has become their principal way of communication and they rely on it fully to get messages to each other, plan events, to stay up to date on the latest greatest, know the person's dating status, to find new friends, to stay connected with childhood playmates and to watch and observe the lives of others through videos, pictures and stories. Discussions are had, comments are made, and the world is aware of every move that you make. You are comfortably distant, yet jarringly vulnerable.
My opinions for Facebook are strictly observational considering I have not become a member, and the debate of whether or not I should, is continually being presented to me. I question what this social utility says about the society that I live in. How has our culture come to a place where virtual connectivity is the norm and if you don't take part, you are on the outside, the outskirts, an outliers? How as it happen that suddenly we are willing to expose our every move to the world, let them know who our top friends are, and rekindle friendships that never existed? As one that hasn't taken the plunge and entered this virtual world, am I truly missing out like my friends say, or am I saving myself from a reliance on a computer to connect me to the "people around me"? Has our society come to a place where physical interaction is no longer needed, and we are able to be sustained and fulfilled within our cyber-world? How long can I stay on the outside and still remain on the inside of society? Will I have to cave to fully know how my society works, or can I just observe and look objectively from the outskirts? Am I missing out, or am I saving myself?
*figures taken from Wikipedia

One of the Best!

So this may be one of the best summers ever. When I tell people this, they always seem puzzled and ask why, and a valid question indeed. They continue their inquiry asking what I have done and what makes it so great and if you were to look at my summer, from the outside it doesn't look like much. I've been to Toronto a few times to hear some sweet music, but that isn't anything that out of the ordinary. I've been camping with my family, which was super awesome, but again, I do that every year (though, this year, we had an extra great time because we found out that MARIA IS PREGNANT!!!!). Then if you were to look at my job, you would be totally thrown off. My job for those who forget, is working for a agency called Agricorp which under the government, trying to control a virus (Plum Pox) which is spreading through the orchards in Niagara. I am sampler which means that all I do is pick leaves and tag/label trees. That is literally all I do. I pick between 4000 to 5000 leaves a day and put them in little ziplock bags and that's all I do for 7.5 hours a day. Literally that's all I do. So again, this shouldn't really add to the amazingness of my summer. But for some reason, all of these things have added up and contributed to the best summer ever! My job is fantastic and I love it! My family is unreal, and I love them! My music is rockin' and I love it!
But, when I actually take time and think about it, there is one more thing. There is something sweet about having purpose, and I think for me this has made my summer. As you will recall from my previous post, God really made it clear to me that there was reason for me to get this job. There was huge ordeal around getting it, and when I eventually did, I felt strongly that God had put me there for a reason. Well, since then, I have been on a search to find out what my purpose in this work place is and have tried to figure out why I am there. It has been a challenge because I don't really connect with the people at work, I work alone for the majority of the day, and there aren't many great "opportunities" in the normal sense. So why am I there? Without going into huge detail, God has shown me the value of the new culture that I am apart of; the value in the differences between us; and the value in unfamiliarity in new situations. This has given me purpose and has motivated me in life. It has given me a freshness and a joy to do what I do, and an expectancy that God is going to do something. My dearest brother-in-law Nathan posted on his blog about the boredom of work and whether or not work is just work, of if it can be something more (sorry Nato, paraphrasing a bit) and I think that it can be something more. If there was a job that could be boring and unmotivating, I have one, but when you introduce purpose, it is a whole new story. Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I have purpose doesn't mean that I am thrilled with every leaf that I pick and that I am overjoyed with every sex talk I get, but at the end of the day I know that there is a reason why I am going back the next day. It adds something to life and for me that is greatness!
So, yes, my summer has been amazing, and maybe not for then normal reasons a summer is awesome, but to put it bluntly, it's because of God

Nothing Really

You know the people who never update their blog. You're a faithful reader, and you check it regularly for updates, but then for months and months, nothing ever changes. I know a few of them, and to be honest I have been guilty of the same. And so, I am trying to prevent you from stopping to check my blog, because one day I'll have another adventure, and if you haven't been able to see any action, you may forget about it and miss an adventure.
For me I find it exciting to read the new updates on others blogs and hear about what people are doing with their lives, even if it doesn't apply to me, doesn't matter to me, or doesn't makes sense to me. Blogging is a way of communication for the modern day, and it is a way of expression. Some people use it as a journal of their adventures, some use it to provoke thought, some use it just to say what is on their mind, and other just want something to take up their time. There are many different reasons to blog, and I feel as though mine is a combination of all. There isn't really any rhyme or reason to it, it just happens as it happens. For instance, this entry is completely useless and probably by the end of it, you will think to yourself, "why did I just waste my time reading this." But you can just remember that this is a way of communication for the modern day. I consider myself a modern women, and as one who is studying society I find it important to take part in the society and the ways of my modern day. Enjoy today.

Emotional Day for Some reason

So today, for some reason, in the middle of the day I just burst into tears. I could pull out explanations, but really they don't do justice. I'm not even PMSing. I was just emotional today. It started this morning when I was mowing the lawn. I had just started and all of the sudden I got this ferocious pain in my arm and I look down and a bee flies away! The nerve!!! This is my first bee sting I think and it hurt like crazy! So that sucked! Well I continued to mow the lawn and as I got to the street I spotted a little creature on the road. It was in the middle of the road, and I don't know what got into me because I'm not one to really go and inspect road kill, but something urged me. I went over and low and behold there was this baby bird panting and obviously was very hurt; had been there for a few days and was in alot of pain. The second I walked over it turned its little head to me and opened his yellow beak so wide as if I was going to feed it. It was just painful to watch. I had to do something, and the only thing that I could do was put it out of its missery. Let's just say that my neighbour yelled out, "I live beside killers!!" It was so incredibly devistating and just heart wrenching!
Well, that wasn't the end of my missery. I then went to donate blood and as usual I filled out all the papers, answered all the sex questions and went and sat on the comfy chairs. I had just gotten stung on my right arm, so I thought it may not be the best idea to draw blood from that arm. So the nurse searched my left arm for the vein, and she said that it was too small. So she looked around the right arm for a vein. "Oh, this one is a bit better. Let's try this one." She stuck in the needle and I looked down and there was no blood coming out at all. That was very strange since usually I just pour out. But this time there was nothing. She called over the other nurse, and she started to poke around and together they dug under my skin to find a gushing vein. They finaly found one, but gushing would be the complete opposite discription. It dripped out of the needle enough to just fill their four test tubes. They decided they would try the left arm to fill the bag and they found a vein but again not much blood. So they gave up, and sent me home crying. I just couldn't stop crying though for some reason. I was sitting in the chair waiting for them to clean my iodine arms and the tears just kept streaming. I was trying to stop, but just couldn't. It was an emotional morning, but really not that bad. It was so dramatic and my emotions just got the best of me.

Faith

So, as a lot of you know, this past couple of months has been an adventure on the job hunt. It is crazy how hard it is to find a job now a days, and especially one that is willing to pay you a decent wage. Jobs don't come easy. In March, my number one goal was to make money! It seems like a common goal among students, and I was no different. Without boring you with the details, there was one job in particular that seems quite appealing and just the perfect fit. I had applied last year for this job, but to no prevail. When considering applying again, I didn't think I stood a chance. Why would they hire me this year if they didn't hire me last year. God right away asked me His favourite question to ask me, "Do you have faith?" I hate that question because it puts you in such an awkward situation, because you know that it is a challenge more than a question. My answer was no; I did not have faith that I could get this job. Thus the begining of a great adventure!Faith.
I decided to apply for the job, but with much timidity yet wanting to take God up on His challenge. He could get this job. Once I had applied, whenever I would think about the job, I was reminded of the question and it got me thinking about what faith really was. What does it mean to live by faith? That seems like such a Sunday school answer, and something that is so easily thrown around in the Christian community. But God started to ask me if it was more than just a blank statement, and He challenged me to really think about what that means. Throughout the past two months, I have learend more and more that living by faith is not about the end result, but it about the journey to get there, the adventure behind it. Living by faith doesn't mean that you go out and like the lottery, hope that you'll win, or you will get what you want. Living by faith is learning to trust God with every part of your life; the big, the small, the pretty and the ugly. Living by faith is a journey of dependency where your only option is to trust God and to find peace in knowing that He will get you to the best destination imaginable; no matter what happens, the journey towards it was worth it.
The job took me for a ride, leaving me week after week, wondering what was happening. I was starting to really wonder when this journey was going to end and starting to consider new options for my final destination, but again, the question haunted me, "Do you have faith?" God started to show me that He had it under control and that no matter what, whether I got the job or not, this adventure of faith didn't end with this result. It was only the begining of a great adventure, and even though, yes, I ended up getting the job (PRAISE THE LORD!!!), the journey still continues, and from what I can tell, I have a long ways to go before I see the end.

The Painting

Just thought I would share this
some have asked, who this is, and it is just a picture that I saw and so I decided to paint it. Oh, and it is not in black and white, but the camera did not capture the full colour unfortunately. It is really colourful in real life.