So, today, on my way home from school, I decided to make a detour and spend some time with God. There is a board walk close to my house that God and I like to go. I was really really stressed about some things happening in my life, and was having some good talks with God about it. As I was about to leave, I realized that the water level was really low, and saw someones footsteps in the ground, where there usually would be water. I realized that if I could walk "on the water" it would be a short cut home, so I (without thinking clearly) decided that I would have an adventure!!! I decided to climb down the embankment to the water level and have a chance to walk,
where no man had ever walked before! On the sea floor! I started to walk and it was abit smooshy. I kept walking and walking, and it was getting smooshier and smooshier. (Remember, that it has been raining non-stop for that past
month and so the ground is abit, lets say...moist.) I came to a place, that was visibly quite water logged, and thought, "maybe if I just run really fast, I can get to the other side." Well, my running fast was quickly running slow, when my feet were sinking deeper and deeper, and it was getting harder and harder to pull my feet out of this magical sea floor. I looked down for a split second and realized that I was now "running" with mud up to my mid calf and my shoes were completely covered and immersed in mud! At that moment I realized that this wasn't a good idea, and that the fact that I could barely get my foot, never mind my shoe out of the mud, was a true sign to change plans. I slowly made my way to the embankment and scrambled up the side, now with a heavier step. The embankment led me to the bush, and with abit of stealthy maneuvering I made it to the path, but could no longer see my shoe, or even if I was wearing shoes. My feet were one massive blob of mud, that when shaken, spayed mud everywhere, like that of a wet dog. Throughout the walk home, alot of mud fell off, and with some extreme water treatment, I was able to remove the visible mud, but who knows if my shoes will be permanently mud stained. He made me laugh!
After cleaning my shoes feverishly, I talked to my dearest mother, who has great organizational skills, but helped me realize some devistating news. Finally after galavanting for the past two years, I was finally home for a production put on by the Side Door Cafe! I have been in multiple other comedies in the past, but due to my lack of presence the past couple of years, I have not been in any lately. This years performance is again a comedy called
"The Nitpicker Suite, " written and directed by Martin Smith. I was so incredibly excited and after two months of practising, my anticipation for the performance was rising! I also had a main role, and so that was twice as exciting. But, much to my dismay, today it came to my attention that my choir with university, is putting on their first perfomance on the exact same day as The Nitpicker Suite, at the exact same time! I would skip my choir performance in a heart beat, compared to this comedy, but not when participation is worth 50% of my final grade for the course! I couldn't believe it. He made me cry.
So, my life has been a roller coaster of emotions and I have come to a place of puzzled confussion, and also a place of constant question and wonder. I feel like my life is full of change and unknowns and God is always doing something wacky with my emotions and my plans. Everything seems to be changing; my friends, my social life, my family, my schooling, my daily routines, my passtimes, my relationships and my spiritual life. Everything seems like a mess and I'm lost in the labyrinth of uncertainty. I feel like Sarah, trying to rescue Toby from King Jareth. She has to go through all of these trials and I feel almost like I'm in the falling pit with all of the "helping hands." They are all talking to her and giving her "advise" and pulling at
her, being really creepy in general. But I just feel like I have all of these questions, all of these opinions, all of these "helping hands" in my head that are constantly plaguing me. I don't feel sure of much and I dont trust alot of what is going on in there. I don't know how to get to the end of the maze and come to my final destination. At the same time, I havn't found the path that leads me there. I do have some amazing friends that are helping me through it all, but it just doesn't make sense. Why are things happening the way they are, and why do I have to go through this? I wish I could just skip this part, and get to the final ball. But, I guessI need to be able to face my fears, go through the tunnels, face the monsters, meet some new friends, and defeat the spell of King Jareth. I need to be able to free the little child, but it is just a question of how?
